this was no chicken. this was evil manifest. (darkeyedwolf) wrote in rainscene,
this was no chicken. this was evil manifest.
darkeyedwolf
rainscene

Antique Bakery: IT'S RAINING MEN! And they'll give you CAKE!

Antique



A hot bakery owner and his gay stripper pastry chef.

Do I need to say anything else? Do you even need images? If I stopped the pimp right here, would you need more? I don't think so.



Jin Hyuk is a cake shop owner who hates cake. This actually makes more sense than anything else in the movie.





Sun Woo is a part-time patissier, part-time gay club extraordinaire. He's so hot male characters literally describe him as "dripping with pheromones" and talk about "lust at first sight."





He is, you see, THE GAY OF DEMONIC CHARM.

I'M NOT MAKING THIS UP.

THE GAY OF DEMONIC CHARM.













Horny men get together and talk about how he should be communal property for the good of society. "Guys like him are meant to be shared." Sun Woo shares their sentiments, much to the anguish of broken-hearted boys left in his dust -- "If Sun Woo so much as smiled at a guy, then gay or normal, they were all on their knees like a bunch of cult followers."







Sure, they're on their knees as cult followers.







At the bakery, Jin Hyuk is immune to the subliminal penis waves of Sun Woo's tight pleather pants and nipple shirts.



At least... for awhile.







The lady doth protest too much, if you know what I mean.







Sun Woo's hot French boyfriend presents somewhat of a problem:



IF YOU LIKED IT THEN YOU SHOULDA PUT A RING ON IT.







Oh, there were some other guys at the bakery, too. But they totally had their own unique stories unrelated to slash. Like the bodyguard who... uh... stalked Jin Hyuk and then developed a massive crush on Sun Woo... or the aspiring patissier who lived in Jun Hyuk's house and then developed a massive crush on Sun Woo...







Oh, who am I kidding? It's all about the gay. Gay and cake.





Gay...



And cake!







Gay...





And cake!



And nudity! Unnecessary showers! At one point we watch Jin Hyuk pull on his pants!







He also has deep, disturbing nightmares we should think about very carefully, watching his throat swallow convulsively in sweaty close-ups of slick flesh.



"In order to know cake, you have to live it." LOLOL.







Then they burst into song apropos of nothing.

(God, I love a pimp where I can say that.)







Seriously, are these not the perfect men? They're single, rich, gorgeous, and they can feed you cake.

















In short, Antique is one of those rare, beautiful experiences where you can watch men dancing in the rain or glomping in giant clingy bearhugs, and think, this is my canon.
Tags: ****, *country: korea, *movie, cast: joo ji hoon, cast: kim jae wook, genre: canon gay, genre: hilarity and hijinks, genre: no brain required, genre: our nudity advances the plot
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